I’ve never invested much energy in thinking of New Year’s as starting over the way many people do, but this year is a little different. Not because of a renewed or altered perspective on the actual calendar date, but more because this year it seems to correspond with some massive, and overdue, shifts in life and its direction. Times lately have been uncertain and transitory, maybe even stretching back longer than I’d often like to acknowledge, but now everything is being transformed.
Much has already altered significantly over the last year; it’s sometimes hard to believe how many things have happened and how quickly it’s all gone by, but in almost every way transition and change have been the ruling forces in that time. Going forward, it is culmination. A synthesis of all of the lessons, movement, tragedy; shifts in character and moods; entrances and exits; all of the things that have run alongside my life in recent years.
These days my clothes are mostly broken zippers and patched holes. As the weeks tick by new ones form and are covered over, but mostly I’m okay with it. I’m not indifferent, I’d very much like to not have to get out the needle and thread so often, but if it’s a byproduct of the freedom to approach my life and dreams on my own terms, and an indication that the road traveled has led to them lifting off, I don’t mind. I even welcome it.